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Marriage Problems, Don’t Wait to Get Help

2011 January 16
by The Marriage Coach

It was late when she called me.  I had known her and her husband for many years.  She called to let me know that she and her husband were having marriage problems and she thought they were headed for a divorce. She asked if I would talk with them.

The call surprised me.  This couple had been married for over twenty years.  They have two grown children and seemed to love each other.  We set up a time to meet and we talked.  For almost two hours we talked.  There wasn’t any shouting or name callling.  They both spoke very calmly about what they thought went wrong.  There was no infidelity, no financial crisis, and no abuse but they both agreed that their marriage was dead. Marriage Problems.  Marriage Problems.  Marriage Problems.  Marriage Problems.

I asked them when they first realized that something was broken.  He said that it started to die six or seven years earlier.  She agreed and said that she guessed they had just ‘fallen out of love’.

She said that right after their children went away to college she told him over breakfast one morning that she felt like they had drifted apart and that she wanted them to talk with someone.  He said that he didn’t realize that there was a problem.  She said that was the problem…he hadn’t noticed.  They resolved to get some help but they never did, not until she called me years later.

We met together several more times and each time that we met it became more obvious that they were headed for a divorce.  Neither person seemed to have any desire to stay married.  They wanted it to be civil and by talking with me they could let everyone know that they had tried everything.

Within three months they were divorced.  She stayed in the house and he moved to another state.  This all happened several years ago.  Neither person has remarried and now their first grandchild is on the way.  They’ll each tell you that they’re doing great but their eyes aren’t very convincing.

I wanted to share this story with you for a very important reason.  If you feel like something is broken in your relationship, don’t wait to get the marriage help that you need.  Talk to someone.  A counselor, a pastor, find someone to help you talk through things.  Your marriage is worth fighting for.  Don’t let it die a slow death.  Marriage problems.  Marriage problems.  Marriage problems.

Marriage problems.  Marriage problems.  Marriage problems.  Marriage problems.  Marriage problems.  Marriage problems.  Marriage problems.  Marriage problems.  Marriage problems.  Marriage problems.  Marriage problems.  Marriage problems.

Marriage problems.  Marriage problems.  Marriage problems.

Marriage problems.  Marriage problems.  Marriage problems.  Marriage problems.  Marriage problems.  Marriage problems.

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